Learning
by KiyoshiMichi
Summary: If anyone actually thought about it, they would know why I acted the way I did.   Yaoi, T for minor language


Okay, so I noticed there is a lack of stories about Yamato and Ulti... why is this? I find them absolutely adorable together. Especially in their past... but that is apparently just me... so I remedied the situation!

Entire story in Yamato's P.O.V.

Warnings: Seriously AU, Yamato is severely OOC (severely), character death, light cussing, other stuff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Karakuridoji Ultimo and if I did... kukukuku.

* * *

Learning

Ultimo Yaoi

by:

Kiyoshi Michi

"How long has he been like this?"

"It's been months, really. He just stares into the distance."

"What happened? Does anyone know?"

"No. His mother seems just fine, not even sick, and there is not much else in his life besides Rune and..."

I could hear them as only distant buzzing sounds, but I could feel their stares on me like little suns burning my skin. I knew what they were thinking - the only other thing in my life had been 'that doll' Ultimo. Sad thing was that that HAD been a part of my life, but it was gone...

Oh, everything was back in working order. Vice was no longer a problem, nor were any of the other Sins. The Perfections were still around, trying to help their masters and continuing to learn. Rune even still had Jealousy, though he had definitely 'calmed' if that was a good word.

But I had not been able to fix Ulti.

I got to him just to hear a good-bye and to have my heart shattered, but I couldn't fix him. I tried... I tried so damn hard for days to fix him, but nothing. The light from the sphere had gone out. Rune had been with me for days, and Jealousy even got over himself just enough to try and get me through it, but nothing worked. Rune was still my friend, still tried to help me through my grief...

I just do not think I will ever get over it.

Ulti came back to me after nine hundred years, or more precisely, I came back to him. But he was gone now, gone forever. I tilted my head back to stare blankly at the ceiling. I was graduating soon, a little earlier than the rest of my class, but it had been on the recommendation of all my teachers. Academically, I was above and beyond that of anyone else and they figured it was time for me to move on.

Mostly, they did not want to deal with my depression any longer. I was a somber teenager now. I was scaring the younger students and infuriating my own classmates, besides Rune who understand my pain almost completely. Almost because he still had Jealousy.

My own mother was treating me differently. She appeared to be trying to spoil me... buy my love or something. I already loved her, despite her being a little indifferent at times. Not only that, but she attempted to get me to open up, tried to be nice so I would tell her what was wrong. One day, she even pointed out the fact she had not seen that 'strange puppet-like doll' in awhile.

She never mentioned it again when I punched the wall and broke a large number of the bones in my hand.

I rubbed my hand at the thought, hearing the cracking of some bones. A few had healed strangely and rubbed together funny at times, which made it seem like I was popping the center of my hand.

"Yamato..."

I did look up at Rune. He sounded shocked. He said nothing but pointed out the window. Deciding to play along, I got up and went to the window only to throw myself against the glass when I saw what was on the school lawn.

Ultimo was staring up at us with the innocent little smile of his.

No one said anything as I ran out of the classroom and down the stairs. Halfway down a flight of stairs, something strange hit me and literally caused me to stop mid-step.

Ultimo did not have his gauntlets.

He had normal hands. I stared down at my own, which were shaking. Had I been... no. Rune had seen him first and pointed him out to me. I clenched my fingers into fists, determined now more than ever. I started that frantic pace once more, nearly breaking the door as I ran out. He was already walking away by the time I got to him and lifted him into a hug.

I don't think I had ever clung to anyone in my entire life as I did Ulti in that moment. I was so glad to have him ba-

"Who are you?"

In the silence, I swore I heard my heart finally crumble completely. Ulti... Ulti didn't know who I was... this was some cruel joke and I was hating every moment of it. I laughed nervously and set him back on the ground. "Don't be silly, Ulti. It's Yamato..."

"I honestly do not know who you are. Do you always hug strangers?"

I felt my hands clench again, digging nails into my palms until I felt blood. I could feel myself starting to shake, my teeth clenching to the point of being painful. I muttered a near silent, 'never mind, I thought you were someone else.' He accepted this and happily went on his way, skipping.

I could feel Rune's, and many other people's, eyes on me as I feel to my knees and simply died inside.

* * *

It was bitterly cold. I was sitting on a bench, staring at the people passing in their heavy winter coats and scarves. I was dressed quite the same, my lower face buried in the folds of the scarf. I was no longer in school and had nothing to do during the day.

Lately, people watching had become somewhat of a perfected hobby for me. In particular, I liked to watch the couples interact, the ones that truly loved each other, no matter the age. They were always so pleasant to see, smiling to each other and talking quietly while holding each other. One in particular confused me.

It was two men, one a little older than the other. To a normal passerby, they were simply friends having a good time together while the holidays steadily approached. To me, I saw a couple more in love than just about anyone else I had seen. They spoke to each other in hushed voices, the older of the two constantly touching the younger in a simple gestures of affection. The smiles on their faces never left.

I felt a small smile of my own tug at my lips, but it died as quickly as it came to life.

They finally went on their way, walking slowly down the street. The moment they left my sight, my spirit sank. Seeing those two together gave me such hope that the future would be lovely... but when they left, I lost that hope. But it was when they left I discovered the doll shop.

Without really knowing what I was doing, I slowly stood up and made my way across the street, stepping to the brightly lit room where an old woman sat. She looked up at me and smiled, gesturing for me to come closer, which I did.

"Is there something you would like?"

"Do you make all the dolls here?"

"Yes, I do."

I barely let her finish before I blurted out, "Please, teach me to make dolls."

She did not give me a weird look or ask if I was crazy, which I thought I was. She simply smiled in a way I can only describe as grandmotherly. She never said a word. The old lady simply led me to a back room and closed the door, closing me off from my previous life.

* * *

"No mother, I am perfectly happy here. No, I'm sure I do not want to go to college. Kurosawa-san is leaving the place to me in her will."

I felt my eye twitching. Mother simply did not understand how much I loved to make dolls. Kurosawa-san had shown me everything she knew and now I was working on my most loved doll yet.

It was going to be an exact replica of my dear Ulti.

I had long gotten past the point of thinking myself weird for calling Ulti 'dear' anything. I realized he was indeed very dear to me, even now when I was trying to get over my loss of him... twice. I finally hung up and took a deep sigh, concentrating on the doll. Just a few more details and it would be finished.

A few hours later, I held him up to inspect him and nearly cried. Everything was perfect, down to the sparkling clothes and small, innocent smile. I lovingly smoothed his hair to the perfect position and pulled his clothes until they billowed just right. Kurosawa nearly wept when she saw him, claiming I must never sell him - which I never intended - and to put him on display.

I picked his case only five minutes later, setting him up so he would forever give the customers a warm smile as they entered. I was vaguely aware that I was crying as I put him up, Kurosawa rubbing my back as if she understood and I think, somehow, she did. She left me alone after that as I stared at my creation, simply reliving my past with Ulti. Such a sweet thing he had been, so innocent but so full of life.

A gasp.

I turned to see who had made the noise and cried out when I did see who, turning my back to them. It was that damnable Ulti look-alike. I had not seen them in two years. Why now? Why did they have to torture me so? I wanted them to go away, to stop living while I wallowed in despair and kept only an unmoving doll as my companion for the years to come.

"I... it looks like..."

"Ulti. No one else. Don't let worthless fantasies fill your mind."

I was being harsh, I knew I was, but I couldn't help it. But seeing this... this boy was opening wounds I wanted to stay closed. He even sounded as my old Ulti had and I was scared how I would react if he stayed any longer. Please, I begged in my mind, just go away and never come back.

"You... you are the boy who hugged me two years ago... right?"

"Yes..."

I knew I looked different. I had let my hair grow out and now it was up in ponytail, though it flared out towards the top since it was a little shorter there. Besides, I had gotten a little bigger. I did look much older than I did two years ago.

"Yamato-sama?"

My heart skipped a beat. Surely, the child was messing with me. "Kid... don't play around with people. I don't let anyone call me that."

His expression of confusion would have been hilarious if I had not seen the twinge of betrayal. Now, I was confused. Was this really my Ultimo or was it simply coincidence? I really did not want to find out lest my heart become nothing more than a black hole in my chest. I closed the display case and meant to head to the back room, I really did, but a small hand grabbed two of my fingers, holding me in place.

I looked down at the mop of crimson hair, waiting for something to happen, but the boy only kept staring at the ground, hiding his face from me. "Ulti is sorry, Yamato-sama."

Shit.

* * *

I really have no idea why, but as soon as Ultimo had said those words, I could not bring myself to let him go. Besides being human, he was back to being the Ulti I knew and loved. Weird thing was, after taking him to a doctor when he got sick, I found out that even though he looked like a child, he was actually older than me.

"Yamato-sama, is something wrong?"

I blinked a few times. Of course not, but I guess I must have looked rather pensive. I could see the old lady smiling in the background as I rubbed Ulti's head, smiling myself. "Sorry Ulti. I was just thinking - nothing wrong." Ulti, however, was giving me a weird look, prompting me to ask what was wrong to which I got a cute smile. "Yamato-sama looks like he did nine hundred years ago."

Huh, really? I turned to look in the mirror and raised a brow. Sure, my hair was styled the way a great number of samurai had kept their hair, but otherwise... strange. "Then Yamato was quite a handsome man long ago." I blushed while Kurosawa-san and Ulti laughed. Those two often ganged up on me somehow. Kurosawa-san accepted Ulti and everything in our history like it was nothing, hardly batting an eye when Ulti mentioned our past of nine centuries ago.

"Yamato-kun, I would like to move your Ultimo doll."

What?

"What?"

"It will still be up front on display but I made something I want to put it with. Something I think will complete the picture and story of the doll."

I simply nodded and Ulti was smiling sweetly, but I knew he knew something about what was happening... especially when he was the one who blindfolded me. He must have found my facial expression hilarious because he started laughing as he led me along. Finally, he let go of my hand and I heard the sound of the case closing once more. The blindfold came off and I looked to case, feeling my jaw drop.

Kurosawa-san had made a doll of me... or, as Ulti told me I looked in the past. It was even wearing the garb of a samurai. But I see now why she wanted to move the Ultimo doll - she put it in the same case with the doll of me, both the dolls sitting with the Ulti doll between the legs of the other, staring at a fabric butterfly on his gauntlet.

I really did love that old woman like a grandmother.

And, for just a random vain moment, if that is what I really looked like... then I was hot. Huh... never really saw that before now.

"Ulti asked me to do this. For you, he said."

I looked to Ulti, who nodded with a slight blush. He was still just so adorable. I smiled and kissed his cheek, much to the delight of Kurosawa-san if her laugh was anything to go by. "Thank you, Ulti." Kurosawa-san laughed uproariously when Ulti gave me a quick kiss on the lips, smiling so brightly.

Alright, so this was my own family of sorts. A sometimes crazy old doll maker who I thought of as a grandmother and a man that looked like a boy who apparently returned my somewhat questionable feelings. Something good came of Dunstan's experiments after all.

Serves him right.

* * *

So... there it is. R & R


End file.
